MISS YOUR PRESENCE

I WEPT TODAY! CAN IT BE? HUH? CAN IT REALLY BE THAT YOU'RE NOT HERE ANYMORE? CAN I NOT LOOK INTO YOUR SMILING FACE AND LAUGH WITH YOU ANYMORE? CAN I NEVER AGAIN HUG YOU, HOLD YOU AND TELL I LOVE YOU? NEVER? HENRY WAS MY SECOND OLDEST BROTHER. HE PASSED AWAY FROM THIS LIFE THREE YEARS AGO TODAY - JUNE 13, 2001. MAN, I LOVED HIM SO! IN HIS FINAL DAYS HE DRIFTED IN AND OUT OF CONSCIOUSNESS. THIS MAN HAD LIVED A TROUBLED LIFE. HE HAD BEEN AN INTRAVENOUS DRUG USER. HE HAD BEEN A CRACK COCAINE ADDICT. HE HAD BEEN AN ALCOHOLIC. HE HAD BEEN A GAMBLING ADDICT. HE HAD HEPATITIS. HE HAD AIDS. THIS MAN I LOVED! WHEN HE WAS CLEAN HE WAS THE GREATEST JOY TO BE AROUND. BOY, BUT WHEN HE WASN'T! NEVERTHELESS I LOOKED UP TO THIS MAN. HE WAS 11 YEARS OLD WHEN I WAS BORN. HE WAS THE ONE WHO WATCHED OVER ME. WE WERE PRACTICALLY INSEPERABLE. AS I GREW UP I SAW AS HE WAS INVOLVED IN A LITTLE OF EVERYTHING BAD. BUT HE NEVER, EVER LET ME SEE HIM DO ANY OF IT, NOR DID HE LET ME BE INVOLVED WITH IT - EVEN OUT OF HIS PRESENCE. NEVER DID I TRY ILLICIT DRUGS, CIGARETTES, GAMBLING; AND THE ALCOHOL I'VE DRANK IN MY LIFE COULD TOTAL A PINT IN ALL. NOT THAT I WAS A GOODY TWO SHOES. I HAD GREAT PARENTS AND THEY WOULD HAVE HAD HIS LIFE HAD HE ALLOWED ME TO INDULGE. AS FOR HIS OWN LIFE, HENRY JUST ALWAYS DID HIS OWN THING. I BECAME BORN AGAIN IN CHRIST IN 1993. NOT LONG AFTER THAT I BEGAN TEACHING MY OLDER BROTHER THE BIBLE. IN 1995 HE REPENTED OF HIS SINS AND WAS BURIED WITH CHRIST IN WATER BAPTISM FOR THE REMISSION OF HIS SINS (AND TO RECEIVE THE GIFT OF THE HOLY SPIRIT). FOR THE NEXT 6 YEARS HE'D FALL BACK INTO DRUGS, REPENT, GET DETOXIFIED, AND RETURN TO GOD ... AND DO IT ALL OVER. HOW MANY OF US HAVE NOT REPEATED THIS PROCESS IN SOME FORM OR FASHION? AND GOD WAS ALWAYS MERCIFUL TO TAKE US BACK. AT THE END OF HIS LIFE HENRY HAD BEEN AWAY FROM GOD - AGAIN. THIS TIME IT WAS REALLY BAD. HIS CHEMICAL DEPENDENCE WAS OVERWHELMING BY NOW! AND HE WAS IN THE FINAL STAGE OF HIV. I WAS 500 MILES AWAY, BUT MY PARENTS WERE RIGHT THERE. AND MY MOTHER DEAR, HERSELF BORN AGAIN LESS THAN 2 YEARS EARLIER AT THE AGE OF 67, WAS AT HIS BEDSIDE PLEADING WITH HIM TO REPENT OF HIS SINS. HENRY DID. POPPY CONFIRMS THAT HENRY DID REPENT. AND AS THEY LEFT HIS BEDSIDE THAT NIGHT HENRY'S EYES WERE FIXED ON THEM. FIXED! THE NEXT MORNING, WITH NO ONE IN HIS PRESENCE BUT THE ANGELS OF GOD, HENRY LEFT HIS BODY TO BE WITH THE LORD IN PARADISE. I MISS HIM SO! I SIT HERE LOOKING AT YOUR PHOTO, AND I ASK MYSELF ... I ASK YOU ... CAN IT BE? CAN IT REALLY BE THAT YOU'RE NOT HERE ANYMORE? CAN I NOT LOOK INTO YOUR SMILING FACE AND LAUGH WITH YOU ANYMORE? CAN I NEVER HUG YOU AGAIN, HOLD YOU AND TELL I LOVE YOU? NEVER? NO! NOT NOW! NOT HERE! NOT LIKE BEFORE! BUT THE ETERNAL KINGDOM OF HEAVEN AWAITS... AND I HAD BETTER BE READY! HAILE NKRUMAH GAULT